From the Immortal Chronicles #1 (Spring 1998):
10. Carrows has you on speed dial.
9. You didn’t have a date until you were 23.
8. Mylar-scented cologne.
7. You know what Bob will order before he does.
6. Likeness of Jack Benny tattooed on your ass.
5. Still wake up at night screaming “Riiiieeeeber!”
4. You can romp through Cupid’s grove with great agility.
3. Moviefone calls you for information.
2. You self-publish a 125-page book list, and your friends actually read it.
1. You self-publish a newsletter, and your friends actually contribute to it.